I can’t even begin to tell you how overwhelmed I feel. I know what you’re probably thinking- you’re always overwhelmed.
Last night I was doing the nightly ritual- flossing, brushing my teeth, and washing my face. I stood in front of the mirror staring at myself thinking of Baby R. He’s all I think about. I think about him when I go to bed. I think about him when I wake up. I think about him throughout my day. I pray for healing in his body. I pray for his organs, his hands, his feet, his eyes. I pray he sleeps well. I pray he eats enough. I pray he gains a pound. I pray he grows stronger and stronger. I fell in love with this little guy. Less than five pounds, strapped to tubes, feeding machines, drips of everything they can get into his little system so that he will make it. I love him. I want to care for him. I want to run to this sweet little boy as soon as we get an answer.
I realized just how much I loved him last night as I stood in front of that mirror… I have yet to see a picture of him and I love him to the moon and back. I’ve heard of this type of love but now that I am experiencing it, a whole different meaning has been revealed.
After realizing the love I had for this little guy God whispered “imagine the love I have for you”. I couldn’t hold the tears. He began ministering to me.
If your love for Baby R is this big, this unimaginable, without conditions or reservations, you won’t be able to understand the immensity of my love for you. I have loved you from the very beginning, through your high’s and low’s, through your flaws, I’ve always loved you.
I was overwhelmed. I was bent over the bathroom sink with a towel in my face just crying.
HE. LOVES. ME. DEEPLY.
I know many people can’t even begin to think about adoption for one special reason- how can I love a child who isn’t mine? The answer is simple or complex (depending on where your heart stands)- you love a child that isn’t yours because God has poured His love into us, we were adopted through Christ’s salvation.
God’s love is immensely grand. The moment you feel His love, your heart transforms to Christ’s image little by little. I really can’t explain just how it feels other than overwhelmingly amazing.
Let love in.
I’m not going to tell you how much I love my enemies (especially those who are so against us adopting) because I’m not all there yet but I think we should probably stop fighting it the evident- His Love for us. Let love in. Let it consume you. Let it abide in you. Let it remind you throughout your day just how amazing it is to step back and see things with your love glasses.
While you get your love on, can you do us a favor and pray? Thursday will be a big day for us. The social workers will be deciding who the parent’s for Baby R will be. It’s scary. I can’t imagine losing him but if that’s God will, we will continue to love Baby R as he get’s loving parents to care for him. It’s a LOT but God is good and His love will cover that.
Happy Monday everyone!