Tag Archives: grace

Then We Realized We Were Adopted

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It’s been a little over a week since we got the good news.

It’s also been a little over a week that we thought we’d see him. We haven’t. Some of these things take time. There are set backs. Anxiousness, excitement, let downs, but at the end of the day, Lucas is still ours and we’ll have him soon enough.

Last Wednesday we met with his social workers. We drove to San Bernardino. Waited in our car for the right time to step out. My social worker text me “hi, are you here yet?”. I replied we were waiting in the car, she replies “me too, meet you up front!”. We get out of the car. I straightened myself up. I checked my hair. I wanted to make a good impression (because I want them to know they picked the right family for him).

We waited in the waiting room then we get called in. The sign outside the room said “Interview Room 1″. The room had a small table and enough chairs. On the right of me was a huge double sided mirror. This didn’t feel like an interview room, it felt like an interrogation room. His social worker sat down, our social worker, the county RN who explained his conditions, and my husband and I all starred at the center of the table where his social worker had placed a recorder down to record the whole session. Then I got scared to talk (yes, that’s an odd event).

We talked for over an hour or so about his conditions, general family background, why we where chosen, what could happen, what could not happen, about how he has a fan club (well duh, he’s our son!), about how we need to make sure what we’re getting ourselves into, etc… then the pictures came. Shhhh, be still my heart, be still. She slowly pulled them out, one by one. My eyes teared up but I fought the tears. There was Lucas, the tiniest little guy you’ve ever seen. He was brand new in those pictures. There were cables and tubes attached to his little face. The diaper wasn’t even fully on him because he was just so tiny. Then she got to the updated photo, the one of him being 5lbs. His chubby face, a green and white stripped jumper, and his hair, a plethora of hair! I couldn’t keep my eyes off the picture. That was my baby and I fell in love.

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We also learned that Lucas wasn’t the only one being adopted  into a family.

My husband and I got adopted too and we didn’t even know it.

The moment we heard about Lucas being ours was when an out pour of our church family, close friends, Danny’s co-workers, internet friends, friends’ friends, and some of our family extended their love to us. Suddenly our Lucas’ room was painted because our friends wanted to help us with buying and painting his room. Suddenly our living room was filled with a bouncer, a swing, strollers, and clothes. Suddenly we got calls about car seats and Boppy’s, changing tables, and more. Every time we got a call, my husband and I smiled at each other.

We panicked when we got picked. How in the world do you buy baby essentials in a few weeks??!?? You don’t buy it all, you trust God and He provides.

The bigger picture was this- the moment we chose to follow God in His command to adopt (taking a scary step at such a young age) was when He blessed us more. Just obey Him and He honors the desires of your heart and blesses us tenfold.

So thank you for adopting us in to His family, to your family. Thank you for extending His love and grace to us. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your encouragement!

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Galatians 4:4-6

There’s Something About Mary

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The move was successful!

A few broken glasses, a happy dog with a backyard, and a bigger place to start fresh.

This past Saturday was quite a day. We packed everything in the biggest u-haul we could rent and made a trip to Jack in the Box to feed our helpers before we continued the unloading. We all sat and ate. I faced the window, tired yet feeling greatly accomplished.

I saw a woman outside the restaurant, although it was a warm day, she was wearing a thick coat and lugged her whole life with her in a shopping cart. Her hair was in many knots, her skin was leathery, but her spirits seemed high.

I couldn’t resist. I walked outside and kindly asked her if she’d like me to buy her a burger or anything off the menu. “Coffee please, just some coffee” she said. I asked her if she wanted anything other than coffee and she said no. I went to the register, ordered the largest coffee and 2 Tacos. I didn’t know what else I could’ve gotten her.

I met her outside with her coffee and a take out bag with the tacos, cream and sugar. Her name is Mary. She had a heavy accent. I could hardly understand a word she said but her eyes said it all. She had a story. She’s lived in this area for over 20 years. She believes in healing. She is kind and sweet. She is homeless.

I asked if I could pray for her and she was so happy I had asked. And so I did. After I prayed for her she wanted to give me a bottle of ‘Healing Water’ that someone else had given her. I told her to keep it but was grateful she wanted to share.

I gave her a hug and walked back in the restaurant. I thought I’d be a blessing to her but little did I know, Mary quickly blessed my life in so many ways. I couldn’t stop the overwhelming emotions as I sat back with the crew.

It doesn’t take much. A burger, some coffee, 2 tacos, take 10 minutes off your busy schedule and remind yourself that you’ll find the greatest of blessings in unexpected deeds.

Behind that shopping cart home, ripped clothing and dirty nails, you will find endless stories that teach us more about grace and Jesus then you’ll ever learn at a Bible camp.

Boggled about Blogging

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It’s hard to balance writing a blog when there are SO many different things going on in my life. I mean, it may be hard to believe for some BUT infertility isn’t the only thing I eat, sleep and breath here.

So if this is your first time checking out my blog (or not), then here’s what I’m all about (summed up in really basic words)-

  • I’m infertile,
  • We are going through an adoption process,
  •  I am on a weight loss journey,
  • I am a Beachbody Coach,
  • I’m a military spouse
  • My husband and I have started to eat less processed, dairy-less and less meats,
  • I am learning to do more DIY (Do It Yourself) projects,
  • oh and I’m a sinner with flaws that cover the Great Wall of China and back and remember that through God’s grace I am here.

How do you fit that all in a blog when I want to post about the pains of infertility and then a post on how to make Almond Milk? HA! I have no idea!

Often times I’ve thought about making two different sites for different posts but I am truly not that dedicated in maintaining two different blogs on any given day. So if you’re ready to ready about any of the above topics or more (as life tends to throws some sour lemons my way), then stick around!

I think I’ll use this post as a transition to some yummy recipes to come! I’ll try posting some later tonight!

Any topics you want to see? Recipe ideas? Suggestions? Let me know!

Adoption Update

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I don’t have a clue how my days have passed. They just have.

All I can say is that my heart is overflowing of God’s love and attention to every-single-detail of my life.

Want to hear some good news? The MRI results came back a week ago and this girl(me, Betty, yours truly) is healthy as can be! Meaning, pregnancy is a possibility. Of course, only in God’s perfect timing.

What’s that? You said you wanted to hear more good news? Sure! Right now we are completing step 10 (or something) out of 1,000 for our adoption!!

I don’t think I’ve blogged into depth about our adoption journey as of late. Due to the fact that life has been a whirlwind- military, adoption, siblings, marriage, and church; I haven’t made much time to write.

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We got our home study package in the mail. A Saturday. A big white heavy envelope. My heart beat probably escalated higher than it would on the elliptical. I’m already getting teary eyed writing about it. Surprisingly, we weren’t overwhelmed. There was (and still is) peace. What felt like hundreds of pages, we have now conquered little by little.

My husband and I started filling out some paperwork that very night. I was eager to get everything done that night, it usually doesn’t work that way, and it didn’t.

We got to the sheet we could work on together. The sheet that made things real for me. The sheet that wasn’t only a sheet of paper but also reality. It was the sheet that asked you about the child we desired to have. For instance, is any race okay? Check- yes. That was a no brain-er. It gets deeper. What if the child was tested positive for HIV, cocaine, or if they have heart problems?

As I prayed though each question, I couldn’t help but cry. The reality that there are children with such problems and no body to care for them breaks my heart. If I had the strength, financial means, and knowledge to care for all of them- I would, in a heartbeat.

We can only do so much (right now). So as we filled out that 8 page sheet of “acceptable”, “willing to discuss”, or “not acceptable” conditions. I will admit I struggled not allowing myself to get carried away. But God lead us through it. Every single condition was noted in this questionnaire and now looking back at it, I’m at peace with every answer given.

I also forgot to mention- my husband decided he wants to adopt a sibling set! Yes, I was utterly surprised too. Unfortunately, due to the fact that we only have two bedrooms, we can only adopt siblings of the same sex. Whatever happens, I’m sure God’s got it under control.

Last Friday we finally got our fingerprints done. We hesitated on that one. No, I’m not a criminal (haha), but the cost of fingerprints made me want to be one. We walked into the police department. The kind officer told us it would cost us a little over $400 since there was double paper work the agency required us to complete. My husband and I looked at each other and probably froze for two seconds. Oh well we figured it’s gotta get done anyway.

I kid you not, GOD GAVE US FAVOR! Huge favor! The kind, older officer started talking to me as he scanned my fingerprints on the computer. Joking, laughing, and asking questions about the adoption. He said it was great we were doing it at such a young age etc. He gave the paperwork to my husband so he could pay meanwhile I got my fingerprints done and my husband tells me “you’re never going to believe how much we paid!”. My heart almost ripped out my chest thinking it was $450 or so. He shows me the receipt and it says $200. The kind officer “pretended to forget” (as he worded it) to charge us for some extra charges.

I don’t know about you but I know, I know, that God is walking all over this adoption process. There is peace and comfort and love all over this process.

So far that’s all I’m going to write about our adoption journey (since I have no more time). Feel free to ask questions and I will make sure I answer everyone.

Where have you seen God work in your favor these past few weeks?

(BTW- See that button on your right? save it and put it on your blog! I’m still working on the code but link my page to it.)

Hogging Grace

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I’ve become a good judge on who deserves grace lately.

In reality, we’re all like that in one way or another. We either justify it or recognize it. We judge others according to what they’ve done and write in our imaginary journal. In that imaginary journal we jot how just how much grace we’ll give to them.

These past months I’ve been carried away on my desire and it has consumed me. As I’ve seen others get what I so desperately wanted, prayed for, and cried for- I started this imaginary journal and jotted down whether or not they deserved it. I justified it. It made sense to me. My desire consumed me and grace was the last thing I felt like giving.

It’s ironic though, if you think about it… we sin (most of the time) knowingly of the consequences and yet we know that when we go before God we will receive grace. Every. Single. Time. Thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice, my pompous self expects no less.

Last week when I found out of yet another pregnancy (there, it’s out. pregnancy.), I tweeted in my little anger rage and said “It feels unfair. But grace isn’t fair. We don’t deserve it but still receive it”. I’d like to say it was an epiphany that made me realize that but it wasn’t. It was the Holy Spirit that spoke to me during my anger bust.

Today I read my devotional and BAM! it hit me right where it hurt;

Galatians 5:26- Let us NOT become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

My desire of wanting this made me envy those who are blessed with pregnancy.  I’ve told myself not to be consumed by it. I’ve prayed for God to help me become less concerned but I am so good at holding on to things.

As I continued reading my devotional today this little sentence I read pretty much changed my focus “He has a PERSONALIZED plan for your advancement” which is pretty much like Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the Plans I have for you”.

I’ve gotten to see a glimpse of His plan in my life lately. It’s pretty dang awesome. I was just so invested in my desires, hogging grace, and envying others that I started missing that His plan for me has me on a different route at the moment. I’m okay with that.

Maybe it’s time I start spreading grace around to the undeserving and time to start embracing His plan over my life.

If grace was fair- I’d be in hell.

Since grace is unfair- why not give it freely like we receive it? I guess it’s my time to give grace to those who have hurt me, been rude to me, and talked about me.

It’s time for me to love and not envy, encourage and not bring down, and pray for when that’s all we can do.

Give grace; don’t hog it.

Have you been a grace hogger? What’s one way you’ve learned to give grace to those who you feel don’t deserve it?